Monday Musings...True Release


Heartbreak: the moment when your chest cavity is so heavy with emotion that it literally rips away and floods your entire being. Like a cascading waterfall, the emotion pools at the base of a lake only to be tossed downstream over jagged rocks through increasing velocity and turbulence. Such is the pain that so many carry, unbeknown to the multitudes who travel with them every single day.

She sits strategically at the back of the room… at the very back of the room. Hidden and yet visible. Surrounded by others ...and yet all alone. The weight of pain and loss. Innocence vanished. Fear wrapping itself tightly around her mind, her chest, her legs, instilling paralysis.

And then, emotion cannot contain itself within the vessel it resides. It begins as a solid lump in the throat, saturated with a tinny taste, joined by hot breath pushing up from the chest cavity forcing words to dribble past lips that desperately try to stay closed. “Run away, run away, if you can’t speak.”

The words, however cannot run away, they run to. As a survival instinct, they fight for air. With unexpected momentum, they are released and permeate the air, remaining suspended with no supports holding them in place. They are desperately in danger of falling down and crashing to the ground, shattering to pieces, with shards remaining upright to pierce the feet of any who step on them.

The room turns to silence – not from shock at the vulnerability and honesty of raw emotion, but from the unimaginable weight of a burden buried and carried for far too long. The word fragments begin to fall. They cascade downward and affect all those present, especially those who have seemingly swam through a similar waterway, but had remained in the shadows until this pivotal point in time.

We never know what is behind the mask that people build for themselves until moments like this. Underneath the heaviness of the heart lies the wellspring of emotion that propels a person forward to preserve their life, when all they want to do is surrender. A heart may be broken, with jagged pieces pointing up from the lake of emotion signalling ‘Danger” and “Drop Off Zone”. But this weekend, I witnessed the incredible power of a caring community whose feet moved toward the swirling pool, and waded through the waters, only to embrace that pain, leaving the lake as clear as glass with an unspeakable calmness.

This week’s song is Pieces by Rob Thomas.

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