Guest Blog: Self-Talk It’s All About You

Do you ever stop and listen to that little voice inside your head? Do you ever take a moment to listen to your thoughts, and what feelings those are triggering? I know for the longest time I didn't, and when I look back now, I wish I had. That very voice inside of your head is the one that can trigger the feelings you feel, followed by the behaviours you act upon.

A particular time in my life that I can remember being unaware of this was during school - looking back, I remember the constant message going through my head that said, "I am so stupid". This followed me when I wrote tests, or any given moment when I had to explain myself. During those moments, that constant thought caused me to lack confidence and endure feelings of self-doubt; which then caused me to not take initiative, and hold back any thoughts I wanted to share. I always felt trapped feeling this way, and didn't know how to change it. I’ve learned a lot since then.

Just like my experience, this voice will follow you everywhere you go, and can determine the day you are going to have; the good news is, you have the power to change it. Sometimes, the voice can feel so automatic that you may think it can never be changed - this is where you are wrong. The power of self-talk can be life changing and tedious at the same time; just like anything else, it just takes awareness (to which you are gaining by reading this), repetition and practice.

I, myself initially thought that it wasn't my self-talk/thoughts I had to change, instead I thought I had to tackle the feeling. The thing is, tackling the feeling won't get you far, because feelings are determined by thoughts; if you have a negative thought, your positive feeling won’t last you very long.

Take a moment, a day, or as long as you'd like, to reflect on this during your usual everyday activities - even if you can't identify the thought, look at what you are feeling (this will give you a pretty good idea to the tone of the thought to which you are thinking). Start with the awareness piece, and then you can start with tackling one thought a day that you think needs to be changed; it will get easier. Wouldn't it be great to know that your positive self-talk is automatic?

Change starts from within you, you are in control, and you have the power to do anything you put your mind to - start today!

Dani and I connected at “Hello” several years ago and have kept in touch ever since. She is responsible for instilling in me a desire to help young adults get the help they need on our campus and in the community. She really wanted to break the stigma surrounding guys opening up about their mental health and now both of us are doing that very thing, me in Ontario and her on the East coast of Canada in her role as a Youth Care Worker. You are a renegade in the truest sense, Dani. Continue telling yourself that you matter, that you are brilliant, and that you are making a difference!

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